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Bed timeFalling asleep in your arms
Whispering I love yous through the dark
A soft kiss
A smile that neither can see
But both can feel
This is my utopia
When I lie with your arms round my waist
Holding me where I've always wanted to be held
And feeling your breath on my back
I've never felt so safe
Or so happy
Or so loved.
New lifeWe're just starting out
On a journey, a life, any number of cliches
And one of the biggest challenges we find
Is growing up
Finding it somewhere in ourselves to say
I am ready
To spend the rest of my life with you
And I am
I don't doubt that my life is so much better with you a part of it
And I know that I'll never be as happy with anyone else
I still worry
I worry that you'll freak out
That you'll run away
To an easy option
A smaller, prettier, more talented me
But then I see you
And you put your arms around me
And hold me until I fall asleep
And I know, more than anything
That this is real
And you are for real
And no matter what happens
You love me. And I can get through anything
As long as I have you
To hold me
While I sleep.
TrustIt's going to take a while
To build back the lost trust
Between the people who are supposed to be in love
And who have been torn apart by betrayal and "rough patches"
Because the love we have is special
But it's not invincible
And it's hard to fight away the feeling that you're still looking for something better
But I'm fighting for us
So I think this fight is worth it
And sure, I'm still angry
I'm still going to be terrified about every text you get
About every Wednesday night
And about all the times you mention her name
And I'm angry that I have to feel like that
But you know something?
I'll get over it. Because the Wednesdays are only for one more year,
And you'll show me the texts
And eventually, her name as a lover will become a memory, and turn into her name meaning a friend.
And we'll still be here. We'll still be strong
And I will still be in love with you.
Pissed.I can't give up on you
Because I love you
And even though I'm hurting more than I've hurt before
I will get through this.
You've both acted like 12 year olds
And whilst you are "sorry" and you wish you hadn't done it
You're "pathetic" and you "can't forgive yourselves"
A little part of me worries that you don't understand what you've done
You both must think I'm stupid
And that I had no idea until you asked me
But I'm not
I just chose to ignore it
I chose to trust you
And it will take a while for me to build that trust back up.
All the things you've been angry about other people doing to your friends
You've done to me.
So yeah, I'm pissed. But I'll be okay, because I'm a lot stronger than you've ever given me credit for.
My own personI look back over the past
At old favourites and deviations
I think about the things I thought then
The person I was then
And I'm not worried that I'm different
I don't mind that my friends have changed
I don't get scared that my opinions and thoughts have changed
And I know that a part of me will always feel guilty for some of my past
And a part of me will be relieved that some people have left
But no matter what
I am proud of who I am today
I've learned to stand up for my own thoughts and feelings
And I'm not led into things by others
I don't feel as if I have to do something, or feel something
Because other people do.
I am my own person
And I've never been able to say that before.
And yes, I have a boyfriend, who I love
And yes, I have best friends who are amazing
And yes, they influence my decisions
But at the end of the day
The decisions I make are more mine than they have ever been.
I don't know where I'm going
But at least now, I'm in charge of how I get there.
One dayOne day
I will wear a white dress.
I will carry flowers
And I will ride in a posh car
And I will walk in between rows of people
Some of whom I love
Some of whom I like
And some of whom I barely recognise.
Maybe some of whom I'll never have met.
And I hope to God
Whoever He or She may be
That when I get to the end
And I lift the net over my face
You're at the end
Waiting for me
Next to a man in a silly collar
And I will be able to promise myself to you
For all of eternity.
Until I can do that,
I feel like I will never be able to show you just how much you mean to me
How much you've changed my life
And how much you've made me grow.
I love you
I am in love with you
And you are the best thing that's ever happened to me.
And no matter what happens
I know that right now, and for the foreseeable future
I am yours. Completely, irreversibly, unchangingly yours.
And I would do anything to make you feel as happy as I do when I'm with you.
A futureI've never felt so safe before
I've never been this comfortable, this happy, this alive
Not before you
Not with anyone else
Suddenly I don't need everything I thought I did
And I want the things I never needed
And I miss you before you've gone
And when you're with me I know that everything will be fine
I guess for the first time, I feel like I'm being looked after
I feel like I can tell you anything, and I don't need to be afraid that my crazy will scare you away,
Because it won't.
And I can be upset with you, or angry at you, and it won't tear us apart,
And I can depend on you and lean on you, and you'll be strong for me
And I know that because I have that security, I can be happier than before
I'm not looking over my shoulder
I'm looking forward, looking to our house and our life
And I can't see any future without you in it.
Some sort of miracleYou hold me while I sleep
And you hug me when I'm sad
You keep me warm on cold nights
And you make me smile on dark days.
You grate cheese for me
And you watch Don't Tell the Bride
And you don't get freaked out when I talk about what I'd do
Or what I'd have
Because you know that I'm not planning on it any time soon.
You tell me you love me when I need it most
You honestly believe that I'm 'beautiful'
And you actually like being with me in trackies
Cuddled up on the couch.
You don't care that I'm silly
That I'm strange
That I eat lots
Or can be a bit clingy
Or boss you about.
And that's how I know that you love me
Because you can look past all the little things
You manage to make me into the perfect girl for you
And that in itself is some sort of miracle.
SuperheroI am stronger now
I am not afraid of the big bad UCAS monster
Or the scaaaaary A Level ogre
Or even the leaving home ghouls
Because wherever I am
And whatever I'm doing
I know that when I get home
I'll be able to slip into your t shirt
And a pair of old leggings
And moan down the phone to you until I've calmed down
Because you are the thing that I am most proud of being
I am a student
And a musician
And a poet (sort of)
But I am also your girlfriend
And as long as I have you to lean on
I know that I can be as strong as I need to be
It's us against the world
But the rest of the world don't have a superhero on their team.
Keep in Touch!
Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More