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For youI can't be anything that I'm not.
I can't be beautiful or brave or strong
Because I'm plain and cowardly and weak.
I can't be everything that you want me to be
Because I'm too busy trying to be what everyone else asked for first.
But I can try to be something that resembles what you want
And although I can't change my looks, or my strength or whatever
I can try my best
To be everything that's best
LYTwo letters made me forget everything today
I've seen them before
And they don't really mean anything
But the "L" and the "Y" made me smile.
I forgot about all the stuff that piles on top of my shoulders
And the guilt I should feel for it being this soon
And just let myself smile.
I was happy.
And now I'm happy
Because you show the right signs
And act the right way
And although there are things that could be better
There are a lot of things
That could be a lot worse.
The monster under my bedThe monster under my bed
Wails through the night like a child
Screaming and sniffling til it runs out of steam
And I drift away to sleep
When I dream
I dream of lips and tongues
Of potential that is unfulfilled
And the feeling that life isn't fair.
I dream of holding a child
Features from two faces in one
And it is taken away from me.
I am scared
That this will be my life.
No purpose or strategy.
No reason to hold back
My life, the void.
Catch meCatch me, I'm falling.
I am terrified of what's around the corner
This nothingmattersflirtyfreedomnopressurewhateverhappenshappens moment,
That I live for every day.
You are my freedom.
You make me forget what I am
What needs to be worried about.
You are special to me,
More than you will know.
You help me
More than you know.
But I like the fact
That I like you. I am not in love.
I do not pretend that you mean everything to me.
But I do like you quite a lot.
This weightThis weight presses in on me.
Holds me fast against the ground,
This niggling doubt in the back of my head
Telling me to run and scream and dance
Because who knows what could happen in a week
But I ignore it
Because no matter what happens
In a week, a month, a year,
I need to be secure in a routine
So I can go about it
And ignore my problems
Although this is more real than before.
This is scarier than before.
But I am strong, and brave, and will continue to be so.
Because I have never learnt how to be weak.
One dayOne day
One day soon
I will fly away from here, from this place.
I will run as far as I can, as fast as I can.
I will leave everything behind,
And live somewhere where no-one knows me
No-one hates me
No-one loves me.
I will be more free than I have ever felt in all my life
And no matter what is wrong
No matter what hurts
No-one else will know.
And I will be free, and alone.
So easyWould've been so easy to fall
To fall into the trap
So easy to just let go
And let the feeling take me wherever I wanted to be
Would've been so easy to forget
Forget everything we've been through
So nice to just be without worry
And let him ease my mind
Would've been so easy to let go
Say goodbye and feel okay
So easy and so free to not be tied up
No noose around my neck
I guess I like challenges.
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A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More